What If 'Almost Okay' Is Still Healing? 🌿

A quiet letter to anyone caught in the in-between - where it’s not dark, not light, just waiting for morning to arrive.

Some days, I don’t know how to answer “How are you?”

So I default to “I’m good”, “I’m fine”, or… I ask about their day instead.

But deep down, there’s this strange in-between.

Not sad, not happy.

Just… almost okay.

It’s in those moments the ones that are supposed to be joyful, light, or healing that I feel the most irritated.

By small things. Big things.

By noise. By silence.

Like there’s a chord pulling me in two directions

One that wants to be seen, understood, held…

And the other that just wants to vanish quietly into the background.

I wish I had the words to explain what I feel.

But I don’t.

And because I can’t name it, people around me only see the fragments:

The irritation.

The tears.

The quiet pulling away.

They label it “too sensitive”, but it’s not that.

It’s not about being delicate it’s about being stuck in a space where I no longer remember what it feels like to be truly okay.

I try to recall when I last felt pure joy.

When I laughed without second-guessing,

Spoke without measuring every word,

Felt without fearing the flood.

Maybe I’m afraid to sit with my own feelings

Afraid that acknowledging them might lead me to a truth I can’t unsee.

A truth I feel powerless to fix.

And yet, being aware and doing nothing feels like a deeper ache.

But here’s what I’m slowly learning:

Being “almost okay” is still a form of feeling.

It’s not numb.

It’s not the end.

It’s a place between drowning and dancing.

And that’s still alive. That’s still trying.

So maybe…

I’m not broken.

Just waiting.

For a softer season.

For a moment where the light finds me again

Not all at once, but in quiet, steady glimmers.

And maybe that’s enough for now.

One step.

One feeling.

One day closer to okay.🌿

If this piece made you feel seen, and you'd like to quietly support more such writing
you can : Buy me a coffee🌻
No pressure your gentle presence here is already a soft kind of light.

https://lessonsunfolding.substack.com/p/why-i-write-and-how-you-can-be-par

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