Half Driven, Half Drowning - Fully Alive Somehow

You scroll through endless posts telling you "You’re the creator of your life."

That you should get up
Be disciplined
Stay consistent
Visualize the dream
Push past your comfort zones

And some days, that voice wins.
You show up.
You work.
You create.
You post.
You build.
You plan.
You hustle.

Because this is your one life, right?
Might as well give it your best shot.

But then

There’s another voice.
The quieter one.
The one that whispers,
Maybe the dream life isn’t about achievements.
Maybe it's about peace.
About healing.
Moments that don’t look like reels or stories.
Maybe it’s not about becoming
But just being.

And between those two voices
You feel split.

You want to build something that matters
But you also want to rest without guilt
You want to post
But you also want to disappear
You want to feel joy
But you’re stuck in indecision
Always asking
Is this the right choice
And at the same time
What if I choose nothing

All the while, life keeps happening.
There’s no time to pause
No manual
Just expectations to be okay
When most days you're just surviving

You go to work
You deal with people
Some stay
Some leave
Some vanish without closure
And that silence
That hurts in a language only you know

So you tell yourself
Silence is an answer
No reply is a choice

And you move on
But every move feels like dragging your heart behind your feet

And the world?
It doesn’t see the mess inside
They see the meme you shared
The post you liked
The quote you wrote

They think you’re chill
They don’t see the volcano

Some days, you’re the funny one
The poetic one
The silent one
The ambitious one
The deeply broken one

You become different people for different people
And no one notices
Because no one really knows what it takes for you to simply show up

You question everything
Your job
Your friends
Your purpose
Your dreams
You even question why you’re trying at all

But somehow
Despite it all

You still try
You still hope
You still create
You still show up

🌿 Maybe that’s the real story.

That even when everything inside you is tired
Confused
And aching for something unnamed

You still choose to stay.

And maybe that’s enough.
Maybe that’s everything.